Soggy Biscuits
by StopJustStop
Summary: My first ever Polaris shipping fanfic! When the two men meet each other unexpectedly, they know they have to explore each other more. TotalBiscuit x PewDiePie


**Soggy Biscuits**

Foliage rustled and cracked as the Swedish man was sneaking through the house's backyard. Felix had his sights set. A large spider crawled up to him, but he grabbed it and bit off its head. He knew that, soon, he was going to find his goal, the goal that he had long lusted after. Felix walked a few more steps and could see a window light. Hopefully, what was inside the room was going to be his prize. He got a bit closer. The window was open. "I guess it's to let the breeze in." said Felix as he trembled towards the light. Soon, he could hear a faucet and a deep, gruff singing voice. The man's heart jumped up in excitement. He peered in the window.

And in all of its glory, he could see what he'd wanted to see all along. It was John "TotalBiscuit" Bain, taking a hot shower and singing. The window was at the perfect spot for PewDiePie to get a full view of TotalBiscuit. TB rubbed the bar of soap slowly and sensually over his soft skin, with his eyes closed, and him singing "Santa Baby." The hot water and steamy vapor elicited a moan to pass TB's lips. Felix decided that now was the time. He dropped his pants and looked at his rock-hard throbbing shaft, and started to masturbate, eyes fixated on the hot and steamy TotalBiscuit shower scene happening before him. As his strokes got more intense, he heard a barking noise come from behind him.

"Shit!" whispered Felix under his breath as the ferocious Shiba Inu approached him angrily. It obviously didn't recognize him. The dog ran up to him and started to tug him by the pants around his ankles. "Fuck you doggy! I want to watch TotalBiscuit shower!" said Felix in a hushed tone as the loss of focus on John slowly started to make his penis more and more flaccid. The dog growled at him, not holding back a bit. Felix was scared, he knew that he was stuck, and that TotalBiscuit will see him spying on him. "The guy hates my videos and my guts." said Felix. "I can only imagine what he'll do to me. I hope my death is quick and painless." The dog barked angrily, and this caused TotalBiscuit to wonder what was going on.

"Huh. Wonder what the dog's going on about." he said as he approached the window. Felix knew he had to think of something, and quick. He knew he couldn't escape, but he was wondering what would make TB less angry. Then he decided: He was going to enter the house.

As TotalBiscuit walked towards the window, Felix jumped through it. The grip the Shiba had on his pants and underwear caused them to be removed completely. So now he was laying on the floor, naked below the waist with a raging erection, dreading TB's reaction to the sight.

"PEWDIEPIE!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" yelled TotalBiscuit angrily as he looked at the bottomless Swede. Felix knew that there was no lie he could tell to get himself out of this mess, not without his boner in full view of the naked Brit.

Felix mumbled. "I was watching you shower..." TotalBiscuit was taken aback, even angrier. "YOU WERE WATCHING ME SHOW-" But then, TotalBiscuit took a nice long look at PewDiePie's 7-inch erection, and suddenly started to warm up to him. The unbridled anger present in his facial expression had soon turned into lust and other warm, fuzzy feelings.

"I mean... y- you were watching me shower? I am honored."

PewDiePie was confused. "Look, I can just exit out the window and we can pretend this never hap-"

"No way." said TB in a joking manner. "I don't want to deprive you of me. Why would you just want a show, when you can feel the man himself all over your body?"

"Well, you do have a point." said PewDiePie.

"So spend your night with me." said TotalBiscuit, striking a seductive pose. "But first, I need to finish my shower, and you're joining." said TotalBiscuit as he pulled PewDiePie into the shower, him still wearing a shirt. TB turned the water to its coldest setting and aimed the faucet at PewDiePie. The blast of coldness had erected PDP's nipples and caused him to bulge through his shirt. "Ah, yes." said TotalBiscuit. "Nothing like nice wet T-shirt nipples to get me going." TotalBiscuit then switched the water to what it was at before and re-adjusted the shower head. TotalBiscuit moved up close to PewDiePie, his 8-inch erect cock pressing up against PewDiePie's waist, and started to enter into PewDiePie's mouth with his tongue. "Why does your mouth taste of spider?" asked TotalBiscuit.

"I ate one on the way here."

"Well spiders turn me on." proclaimed TotalBiscuit, kissing him even more passionately. PewDiePie looked down at TB's member. "I'm going to put this inside of me?" he said. Then, his train of thought was interrupted by TotalBiscuit turning him around 180°.

"So how about I finish that masturbation session for you?" said TotalBiscuit as he reached around and gripped PewDiePie's dick tightly and stroked it fast. "Oh god, TotalBiscuit!" said PewDiePie as TB worked his dick with all his might. "Wait..." PDP said, taking his mind off the foreplay. "What if your wife finds out about this?" "She's driving with the kid!" said TotalBiscuit. "She won't find out about this." This didn't slow TB down a bit, and the strokes on PewDiePie's cock were getting faster and faster. PewDiePie could feel himself not being able to take much more before reaching his peak. Suddenly, semen squirted out of his penis in rapid succession. TotalBiscuit could feel the release, and he smiled, looking directly at the Swede. PewDiePie let out a shriek of unexpected pleasure as this happened. TotalBiscuit shushed him. "I hate it when your voice screeches like that. Stop it." PewDiePie, breathing heavily, said "Okay."

Soon TB was done, and he turned off the shower. "Now let's go up to my room." TotalBiscuit said to the eager Swede. When they got up to the dark bedroom, TotalBiscuit lit up candles by the bedside and crawled on top of the covers. "Now, PewDiePie, lend me your anus." he said with lust. "I will, TB." said PewDiePie as he bent over on the bed after removing his shoes and socks. TotalBiscuit put his hands on PewDiePie's hips and plunged straight into his anus. "Sorry, PewDiePie. I'm out of lube." TotalBiscuit said as he thrust every single inch into PewDiePie's dry asshole. PewDiePie was very uncomfortable, and he was letting out sounds of pain. TotalBiscuit knew he had to find a lube alternative.

He looked at the melted wax emitting from one of the candles in the bedroom and got an idea. TotalBiscuit let the hot candle wax drip into his hand and he put the eventual accumulation on his penis. "Is this better?" said TotalBiscuit as he penetrated PewDiePie again using the hot candle wax as lube. "I still feel a bit uncomfortable." said PewDiePie, still grunting quietly. TotalBiscuit wondered what else he could use on top of the wax. But then he saw Genna's hair spray within arm's reach. TotalBiscuit removed the spray top to the hair spray and started to pour it. TB mixed this in with the candle wax that was already on his dick and put it in PewDiePie again. "Oh god! TB, you're amazing!" said PewDiePie. "Your cock is so great!" As TotalBiscuit slid his penis inside of his asshole, PewDiePie was so enamored with pleasure that he started to pull on his shirt. He ended up ripping off big chunks of the shirt, but he didn't care, for he was experiencing true love.

Total biscuit relocated his hands to near PewDiePie's asshole and started to put a few fingers in along with his penis. PewDiePie was surprised, but he loved the sensation. 8 fingers in his asshole, and a magnificent dick right in the middle, it's like a bouquet of anal stimulation. But then, the door to the bedroom was slammed open.

"JOHN!?"

TotalBiscuit looked up. "Genna!?" he exclaimed.

"What is this fuckery!" Genna was pissed. "You're cheating on me with PewDiePie! I can't fucking believe you!" She almost had tears in her eyes as she viewed the adulterating Brit with his penis inside the star-crossed Swede's luxurious anus. "Wait, Genna!" TB cried out, his dick still inside PewDiePie. PewDiePie felt the need to call out as well. As Genna was about to leave the room, PewDiePie told her.

"Wait Genna! You can join in too!"

Genna looked back, still teary-eyed, but this time with a tingling feeling in her pussy. She looked at how sexy PewDiePie was. "Well, his face looks like an elf with a birth defect, but that is one lean body. And his penis is pretty big too." she thought. "I will join." said Genna as she disrobed, getting fully naked before laying below PewDiePie and starting to suck on his penis as TotalBiscuit fucked his ass. Since Genna was giving oral, TotalBiscuit felt it was fair to give oral on the other end as well, so he started to lick and suck PewDiePie's asshole. But suddenly, PewDiePie didn't feel very well. He didn't want to tell them though, as he didn't want to ruin the perfection of the moment. He decided to continue onwards, not saying a word.

As Genna deep-throated PewDiePie's penis, she could feel a liquid spraying down her throat. PewDiePie had a horrified grimace on his face. Genna took part of PewDiePie's dick out of her mouth and could feel the torrent of hot piss exiting his urethra and assaulting her tastebuds. She was in such a state of shock that she couldn't release her mouth's grip on the member. Screams muffled by PewDiePie's pissing dick were emitted, but TotalBiscuit just thought she loved PewDiePie's boner a lot and was making those sounds because of that, so he continued sucking on the anus. But then, before he knew it, TotalBiscuit's mouth was filled with PewDiePie's chunky liquid shit. "OH GOD!" screamed PewDiePie. "I shouldn't have eaten Mexican food today! AAAGH!" TB and Genna's throats were being assaulted by PewDiePie's bodily fluids.

"MMMMPH! MMMMPH!" screamed TotalBiscuit and Genna simultaneously. "PEWDIE! NO!" Wet farts and anal sludge were all TotalBiscuit could taste. It's not like Genna fared much better either, as piss was in her mouth and down her throat. Finally, PewDiePie had stopped.

No one had any words to say.

"...Sorry, TotalBiscuit. And sorry to Genna too."

The husband and wife looked at each other, still processing what had just happened. As they did, they applauded PewDiePie. "That was amazing!" said the couple in unison. "Probably the best we've ever had, in fact." added TotalBiscuit. PewDiePie couldn't believe it, so he just said "Thank you."

"Would you want me to return?"

"Well, not frequently." said TotalBiscuit. "But definitely once every 2 or 3 months. Don't want to wear out the magic moments." PewDiePie grabbed his shoes and blew a goodbye kiss to TB and Genna as they made out with each other, their saliva being a catalyst for swapping PewDiePie's various body excrements into the other's mouth. PewDiePie saw his pants outside and put them on as well. As he was on his way home, he looked back at the house and smiled.

**THE END**


End file.
